Ivory Tower Inc.

Scott Adams' primary source for material...

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Unscheduled down time at Ivory Tower Inc.!

This is never a good thing for organizations who's sole existence is based on a web presence. Many a dot-com businesses folded up the tents after brief bouts of web darkness. Here at Ivory Tower we seem to make a living off of web darkness. It seems that we get concerned when the sites ARE accessible because that means our lowest bidding Foriegn Faceless Vendors(FFVs) either didn't show up for work( and therefore were not available to screw something up) or are currently plotting the task to screw something up. Either way it's bad news. It seems we would rather just know the sites are inaccessible rather than to be waiting for the support desk phones to start ringing off the hook.

So, all that leads to the latest bout of web darkness. In the past when Ivory Tower was darkened we would be told by the FFVs that some dark hoard had descended upon our neck of cyberspace with an Über attack that is effecting our entire geographic region. After a brief scan of the usual network monitoring suspects we would see nothing pointing to the dark hoard d'jour. We would scratch our collective heads, afraid to ask the FFVs for an explanation for fear of hearing, "SEE! Even THEY are effected!". Today was a bit different in that we had no idea why the sites were inaccessible. Several of our clients were attempting to complete major projects but couldn't get to their respective sites. No word from the FFVs. Phones ringing off the hook and the Support Desk staff were becoming homicidal. No word from the FFVs.

At one point one of our ITEs came up with a brilliant idea...as only ITEs can. This particular ITE fancies himself to be a great and powerful entity in the world of Ivory Tower...even after getting the beat down by the Brilliant Security Person's PHB. We're all waiting for the NEW PHB to get her legs under her and then see what happens to the ITE in question...but I digress...

ITE looks upon the situation and is quite concerned that the clients can't get to their websites and that our Support Desk has nothing to tell them. Support Desk staff is now seeking out pitchforks and torches. Now, no one really knows what goes on inside the brain kettle of an ITE. Some have considered it and their therapy is progressing nicely. I will not even try to guess at the thought process...or lack thereof...that led to the email snippet below but rest assured, dear reader, this did in fact grace our inbox this afternoon:

Not Quite Handsome Webgeek:

Please place a page on the website informing our clients that we know their sites are not available and that we are working on the issue.

-Dr. ITE
I'm not sure if ITE's note was ever responded to. When I left the building we were all still holding our sides, wiping away the tears, and trying to catch our breath.